OK, I take it back. I’m not really done with the in-house seed experimentation. I’m just done with the part where I actually have to do any of the work.
See, in my closet, there sits a test tube. A test tube filled with tomato seedlings. Ladies and gentlemen, meet The Plantarium.
This little test-tubey kit was a thank-you gift from the four-and-a-half-year-old and her parents, in honor of my dutiful care of the sunflower seedlings. By care, I mean, the not killing thereof.
Shortly after Steve and I returned the sunflower seedlings to their rightful owner, she presented me with the Plantarium kit, and promptly led me to the dining room table to get the seeds planted.
Here’s what you get with the kit:
- A test tube filled with lethal gel (I’ll get to this later) that can’t possibly pass any organic gardening tests;
- A small plastic bag of seeds; and
- A wooden stick.
The instructions caution strongly against EVER touching the lethal gel (they don’t describe it as lethal, but why else am I strongly cautioned not to touch it?) or the seeds themselves. The four-and-a-half-year-old and I carefully opened the package of seeds and dumped them in, then pushed them into the lethal gel with the wooden stick.
I carried the stick into the kitchen. “This has touched the gel,” I said. “Do we have to burn it or something?”
The four-and-a-half-year-old’s father slid open the drawer holding the trash can. “Drop it in,” he said. “As long as I don’t have to touch it, it’s OK.”
Once that initial bit of seed placement was finished, the next step was to stick the test tube in a dark room. That’s all. The seeds are now ensconced in our guest room closet.
As you can see from the picture, the gel might be lethal to humans, but tomato seedlings seem to like it.
The instructions also caution strongly that one should not re-open the seeded container until it’s time to take out the seedlings. That will be a thrill on its own, folks, because I’m going to have to get the seedlings out…WITHOUT TOUCHING THE LETHAL GEL.
The product claims to have been developed by Globus International in collaboration with NASA scientists. In other words, I have space-age tomatoes growing in my closet right now. Don’t touch.